What are you thinking? Its been awhile since I have been asked that question. I think I have the answer to that question, finally. The answer is nothing. When someone is talking, I try to listen to whatever they are saying, while at the same time trying to figure out what they are thinking. Furthermore, most of the time I do not think, I process. College really brings perspective to the fact that there are more questions than there are answers, but reciprocally there are far more answers than knowledge that you can absorb. It isn't possible to absorb all of the information I am presented with daily, all I am left with is lingering words and ideas that float around until they are used. I try to remember all of the important stuff, but in the end it takes several different passes over information before it is really knowledge, something that you can mentally build off of to create questions. This is all because there is no point in asking a question that has been answered already. Why reinvent the wheel when you can use the same research, add your own information and make metal spokes? Most of thinking is not what can be described in words anyway. The way that a problem is attacked, or simply metacognating through your consciousness is not a describable experience, unless we simplify it down to a form that is. End.

Black Wing

New technique. Working on it anyways. I'm making a new skill set for myself, since I now believe that Twin swords Two heavens is impossible to master at my level of skill. Ive also decided to name the new set "silver wind", although It's also possible that someone will see my new style and name it something different. More details later.

13

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish reality from dreams. Often times the line between what is real and what I feel is such a foggy one that without asking for the truth every day that I wake up i might not be able to distinguish the two. I've been told that there is a meaning to this, that dreams are simply representations of my inner desires and fears. I almost believed that. I tried to actually, but what I see is different than what I can fear or desire. I cant place it down in words, but what I see when I dream has the same kind of feeling to it as being awake. The feeling of looking at a scene, or an image, and not being able to actually 'see' all of what is there. It's the feeling you get as you look at a painting for a few seconds, and realize that you can remember the rough shape, colors, and outline of the painting itself, but all of the details are fuzzy upon a closer inspection of your memory. The dreams are so real, that they make me question what is real. The argument that appears is, that if dreams are indistinguishable from reality, which is the dream? Movies try to emulate this kind of feeling in the audience, but I suspect few people truly understand the point, if the people making the point understand it themselves. If reality is filled with knowledge and details that you do not understand, then if your dreams are filled with theses same things, what is the real difference between the two? I've tried to analyze what I dream about, but most of the time there is no meaning. Whats worse, is that over the last three years, the dream world has been leaking over into the waking one. I glance out of the corner of my eye, and there is a child that dashes out of view, I look into peoples eyes, and I see other people looking back from the inside, I walk down the stairwell, and I see someone climbing the stairs the other direction with his girlfriend. Glance again, and these people are simply not there. The skies become covered, and people underneath the high stratus become calmer. So I spend my time forgetting the dreams because of what they show; an opposing reality, and ignoring the unseen.

Dreams of the past - #9, #9, #9, #9...

I’m an Orange. My diameter is about 2/3 larger than a basketball. As if that weren’t interesting enough, I have 8 orange assassins after me. They all attack me, but I visualize Roy inside of my head, and in a few seconds I’ve killed all but 2 of them. I watch one of the oranges follow me, and I go into my house, which is a room with a second story connected to it by a ramp in the wall, with a small opening about big enough for an orange of my size. I lead the 2^nd to last orange up the ramp to the second story room, and then I eat all of him except for a piece of his peel, roughly the size of a curved sheet of paper. I then go back downstairs and see my roommate, who is a grapefruit, and he says that he will distract the last assassin. I go up to the second story and look through a small hole in the ground, which turns out to look like a dog sock puppet from the lower story. I feel that I have been discovered, so I exit the top room and cut off the last assassin orange from escaping, and I promptly consume him.

Totally unrelated, yet funny

Dream #12

I am in a two story house, talking with Joel, and It dawns upon me that this is not my house, nor is it his that we are in. In fact, Joel and I have been transported back into the 9th grade, and we have switched time lines. I am now related to his family, and he to mine. Many scenes play out before me, such as English class with Wesely going differently than I remembered. Switching time lines is such a complicated feeling in itself, because it involves having your personality combined with someone else's experiences, so now I know nothing about metallurgy, but can name quite a few movies that I absolutely "need to watch". And thats it for my existential meltdown.

belief

Some people believe in power, there is always someone stronger; they will be crushed.
Some people believe in love, there will always be the heartless; they will be broken
Some people believe in man, man will always have his vices; they will be corrupted.

I believe in the things we cannot see, in God, and his wind that blows through the world.

"Written on my body is the path of pain, the journey of a man to break all the limits that he, himself created." - Self
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon Bonaparte
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Sacred cows make the best hamburger - Mark Twain
Don't think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as a wide target selection. - Dictionary Of Fighting
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. - Menken
Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down. - Yamada

My evil plan

Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Mom never loved me

Stage One:

To begin your plan, you must first Traumatize a Pope. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Threat to our Children? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good as a Dark Gunslinger?

Stage Two:

Next, you will Steal the Internet. This will cause countless hordes of Mean English Teachers to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with Metal, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.

Stage Three:

Finally, you will Unleash your Needlessly Big Weather Machine, bringing about the Apocalypse. This will all be done from a Medieval Castle, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.

There is always the question of self

There are often times where I read stories about the true depravity of human nature, and it makes me contemplate who I am. Recently I've been reading the book "studies in black and red", a log of mostly British criminals who kill for barely any profit, and are eventually caught and tried for their crimes. What kind of person does it take to feel a cold corpse and see only money I wonder. Honestly, whenever I read a story of that nature I envision myself in some sort of position to save the people who are being attacked. Power. Why do people desire so much power for themselves if there is always someone more powerful. I go to the gym partly because in the back of my mind there is always that nagging feeling that someday there will be a use for my power. I don't really buy into the superhero doctrine, the theory that everyone has their own ability that they can hone. It's realism that begins to set in at some point. Some people are weak in mental fiber, and are malleable to the will of others. I try not to pass judgment on that type of person either, some very cool people I know aren't very strong, and that isn't a bad thing necessarily. The point I started to write about however, Is that although not everyone has an ability, some people do. There are some people who for whatever reason exist as more than themselves. My thoughts on this are not really specific, but ill try the best I can to be clear. First off, David has some strange aura about him, such that things he does not understand are made clear as he works them out. He seems to have been born with some kind of intuition that applies only to his own ignorance. There have been a few times where he has tried to do something, it succeeds, and then later on I see what is going on and explain that this event isn't possible, or at least will not produce the results that David expects, and lo and behold, I am right. Micheal is the next one, his ability is such that he is always on the edge of society, culture, school, etc. It's a really hard idea to pin down, because of the constantly changing nature of things. Andrew tends to live inside of his own world, and in this world there is a subtle dark flow that is pretty much the source for all his music. As a side effect on this, he's quite distant to some people, and to others he has no regard for the societal conventions that they posses. Lastly and perhaps the most detailed, I, myself, believe that my ability is time. For some reason or another, its been mentioned to me that I have uncanny timing. The odd part about this is, I've also been told I have excellent geometric perception. These two elements at first seem distant, but when you think of time/space as the same thing, both interrelating as we know them to be in our universe, I find the correlation between the two unsurprising. Another annoying aspect of this is that I have a tendency to do things too quickly, or hastily(Even this was done as fast as possible). So yeah, there are some horrible people in the world, an if you aren't ready to fight for those you care about, then you really don't care about anyone.